Hot day!

>> Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It is hot. I mean, sweat running down your face, you’d-kill-for-some-ice-water-or-something-equally-cold hot. You’d think that I’d been running a marathon at the state I’m in. It’s laundry day here in Majuro. I stripped my sheets and threw virtually every piece of clothing I own in a bag and walked the few blocks to the Laundromat. Every time I walk to do laundry I almost always turn to Jaimie and say something along the lines of, “Whenever we walk this way I’m reminded we’re in another country.” She tires of me saying it so much, but allow me to paint you a picture. You walk out of SDA, past the small store where all of the students go right after school. “Hi Miss Carrie!” some of them yell, while other “cool” eighth graders refuse to acknowledge your existence (But hey, who wants to say hi to their teachers after school hours anyways? I know I didn’t). You pass about a million dogs, and the same amount of taxis drive by you. A smell wafts to your nose. You know you are about to pass the boxcar-sized dumpster in which all of that area dumps their trash. It isn’t abnormal to see children pawing through the garbage, in hopes of making a cardboard baseball glove or a water bottle treasure. Flies dart out in front of your face, being interrupted from their enjoyment of the dump. You walk past the graveyard, in which all bodies are buried above ground, with white crosses on each and every one. There are no ornate designs or shrines, merely lone plastic flowers that adorn the concrete. Occasionally you will see dogs urinating on a headstone or two, or a naked child basking in the sunrays, lying atop a grave. You continue your journey, past the turquoise house and the big, pot-hole-filled “baseball field”. You see adult women in their muumuus, lying in the sun on the ground. You see mothers singing to their naked two-year-old, and uniformed teenagers walking home from school. You see laundry strung from palm tree to palm tree, a colorful array of muumuus, t-shirts, and basketball shorts. You pass another dumpster, a ridiculously multi-colored house, a Mormon church, and a giant satellite. What only takes a few minutes seems like hours in the blistering sun. There is no wind, no relief to your dampened back.

The walk back, though, feels victorious! There is no burden of two week-old laundry to haul, your arms are free, your burden is lifted! The wind seems to have sprung from its hiding place, the leaves rustling to the rhythm of your steps. In a way, life is like my walk to the Laundromat. The journey is hard, blistering, and at times you just don’t want to go on. You want to drop your heavy bag on the ground and sit in the shade. But once you have dropped off your load, you can walk lighter, smile brighter, and look forward to the reward of clean laundry. In the same way, when we drop our burdens off at our heavenly Laundromat, our yoke is light, our hearts are happy, and we can walk away feeling renewed, looking forward to what we know is ahead.

As lame as it might sound, my trip to the Laundromat showed me an aspect I need to work on in my spiritual life. I get caught up in complaining, or letting things become huge ordeals. I allow myself to become molded into this cynical, unhappy person. Don’t fall into that trap. We are all who we are and where we are for a reason. Let my trip to the laundry be a lesson for you and learn to enjoy the little things, please. =) You’ll never know how much you can learn from a little thing. 

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Faces.

>> Monday, March 16, 2009

I sit here at my teacher’s desk in my classroom on a tiny speck in the middle of the ocean. I watch my students as they read their assignment. I was not qualified for this. I was not prepared to be thrown into a classroom and solely be responsible for these children’s knowledge intake for a year. I was scared. I was afraid. 8 months later, they have changed me. They accepted my lack of experience and my terrible teaching tactics and loved me. These 20 children have turned my world inside out and taught me probably more than I have taught them…

From Sunbeam I have learned that teaching can actually be fun, from Rolinda, I have learned that being a tomboy can be cool. From Pete I have learned that there will always be one or two students who listen the first time, every time. From Mase I have learned that kids will accept each other, even if they come in the middle of the year. From Ebilla I have learned not to give up on the students who seem far behind. From Leah I have learned that consistency and hard work always pays off. From Tim I have learned to smile and enjoy my job, and from Sechi I have learned to not take my talents for granted. From Billerine I have learned that one cannot split up best friends, from Andy I have learned that little does not mean least. From Peter I have learned patience… lots and lots of patience…. From Tino I have learned to be willing to give more of myself, from Dorcas I have learned to have better peripheral vision. From Neijen I have learned to enunciate more clearly, and from Romina I have learned that one can use their talents to help others. From Airi I have learned that even in 5th grade you can be an incredible artist, from Jamina I have learned that a sweet spirit and gracious attitude cannot go unnoticed. From Juslina I have learned that sometimes you have to reach past the exterior, and from Sherina I have learned that persistence is not always bad. From Kairirieta I have learned never to give up on your dreams, no matter how farfetched people tell you they are.

1 Island. 10 months. 20 faces. These 20 faces have changed my life, my world, and my future. Someday I hope you will get the chance to let 20 faces change you, too. 

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A poem.

>> Thursday, March 5, 2009

These voices keep telling me things I know aren't true
These voices keep pulling me farther away from you
These voices seem to hurt me deep to my core
These voices remind me of who I was before
These voices tell me I'm not good enough as me
These voices just won't seem to let me be
I am helpless as I try to prevent this attack
But each and every time these voices draw me back

I lived my life in misery as I gave these voices control
But I have a God who looks past my pain deep within my soul
Whose eyes see the person I am, and not who I used to be
Who gives strength to the weary, and helps the blind to see
My ears needed to be opened to the truth that lies within
I don’t need to live my life engulfed in my past sin
That truth has lifted me up and completely set me free
I am free to be God’s creation; I am free to be me

I wrote this a few months ago. Sometimes it's easy to listen to 'these voices', but I have chosen to rise above and listen to HIS voice. I "am beautifully and wonderfully made." That's pretty rockin'.

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A poem.




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